Religion

Do I really want to “out” myself? What will my family and friends say? Oh, wait a minute. I am talking about religion here, not sexual orientation. It is funny (not the ha-ha kind but rather the sort of queasy feeling kind) that a person could feel concern about discussing his or her religious beliefs. Up until yesterday, I never thought twice about it. I was very comfortable in my beliefs, and would never hesitate to tell people what I thought. Then I read an article on a website, and it really shocked me. It seems that there are people out there in North America that are abused and harassed physically, verbally and sexually, just because they are Atheists. Although I have been harshly criticized often enough, I have never suffered from these extremes. Maybe that has something to do with where in the world I am. We Canadians are pretty easy going (apathetic?), so reactions are somewhat muted compared to those of our friends to the south. Do I really want to admit my beliefs now? I have children to protect. My children are my life and if anything happened to them, especially though my own careless action, I don’t know what I would do.

This is really heavy, so I am gonna take a deep breath here. In through the nose. Out through the mouth.

What kind of father would I be if I did not protect my beliefs. I would not be true to myself, and I sure would not be true to them. It would be a very bad example to set. It would mean that my (and by extension, their) opinions do not matter, and that others have the right to walk all over them. It is my duty and obligation to be honest about my beliefs. I value truth very highly, and hiding my beliefs would be lying.

I would prefer to call myself a free thinker. What I mean by that (and hopefully my meaning matches that of others who use the term) is that I believe what I see. Before you argue the usual arguments, I want to make it clear that I do not jump up and down screaming that something can’t be just because I can’t see it, that is not what I am saying. If I see it and understand it, then I believe it. If I am asked to believe something that I can’t see, then I look for evidence. I can only extend the benefit of the doubt so far, though. If something is just too absurd for logical belief, then I give it no further consideration.

Is Atheist that the right label for me? I suppose it’s as good as any if a label really needs to be applied. According to Wikipedia, my most accurate descriptions are probably:

1. Agnostic atheism - the view that God may or may not exist, but that the non-existence of such is more likely.
2. Ignosticism - the view that the concept of God as a being is meaningless because it has no verifiable consequences, therefore it cannot be usefully discussed as having existence or nonexistence.
3. Apathetic agnosticism - the view that there is no proof either of God’s existence or nonexistence, but since God (if there is one) appears unconcerned for the universe or the welfare of its inhabitants, the question is largely academic.

Please look up Agnosticism in the Wikipedia. Agnostic atheism is probably the best description since I am a firm believer in the principle of Occam’s Razor. Wikipedia is a wonderful thing. Please check them out.

Having gone through the catholic school system has really educated me. I am one of the (lucky) few to whom the brainwashing did not stick. It is rather difficult to see it for what it is when you are on the inside. Once I was able to turn on my mind (around grade eleven), I was able to start figuring out what worked for me. What is truly frightening is that I am now 38 and I still on some rare occasions find my self wondering (irrationally to be sure) “I hope God is OK with {insert action of your choice here}". This is why I feel justified in labeling it as brainwashing. I have done enough soul-searching (if I can use that term) to feel very confident in what I believe, and my belief does not include a god at this point in time.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I do not need a god in my life. I have enough issues already without adding that guilt farm to my pack.